Recently, I joined the Steering Committee of the Marriage & Family Ministry at Our Lady of Good Counsel Ggayaaza Catholic Parish. One of my first responsibilities was helping organize the annual Bafumbo (Married Couples) Day at Kasangati Sub-Parish.

More than 100 married couples gathered under the theme:

"Marriage is a Vocation."

The day began with Holy Mass at 6:45 a.m. and was followed by a marriage retreat built around a panel discussion rather than the traditional lecture format. We invited experienced voices from different walks of life to discuss the realities of marriage, not only its joys but also its challenges.

Among the panellists was a widow.

Her contribution became one of the most memorable moments of the day.

As she spoke about marriage, companionship, commitment, loss, resilience, and faith, I realized something profound:

Some of the Church's greatest teachers on marriage are no longer married.

That observation stayed with me long after the event ended.

Learning From Home

Perhaps this realization resonated so deeply because it reminded me of my own mother Mayanja Goretti.

Within our community, she has long been known as "Nabakyala." in Kasangati.

For many years, couples of different ages have visited our home seeking guidance for marital difficulties. I watched them arrive carrying burdens and often leave with renewed hope.

She never needed a formal office to become a trusted marriage counsellor.

Her classroom was life itself.

Her qualifications were years of faithful marriage, sacrifice, raising a family, and navigating the joys and hardships that every Christian household encounters.

Witnessing this throughout my life shaped my own understanding of marriage—not merely as a social institution but as a vocation that calls for daily commitment, forgiveness, and grace.

What Does the Church Teach?

The Catholic Church describes the family as the Domestic Church, where faith is first lived and handed on. Marriage is not merely a contract; it is a sacrament and a lifelong vocation.

If this is true, then another question naturally follows:

Who better understands the lifelong vocation of marriage than those who have faithfully lived it?

And among them, who has reflected more deeply on its meaning than those who have continued their vocation after losing a spouse?

The Untapped Wisdom of Widows

On International Widows' Day this year, I observed something encouraging.

Many widows within our Catholic communities began organizing themselves into groups seeking recognition, accompaniment, and opportunities to serve.

This is more than the formation of another parish association.

It is an invitation to recognize a reservoir of experience that can enrich parish life.

Widows carry stories that younger couples have not yet lived.

They understand perseverance through suffering.

They understand forgiveness after conflict.

They understand raising families through changing seasons.

They understand the value of faith when life becomes uncertain.

These experiences cannot be learned from books alone.

Questions Worth Asking

Perhaps it is time for our parishes to reflect more intentionally:

• Are widows seen only as people to support, or also as people called to serve?
• How intentionally do our Marriage & Family Ministries invite widows to mentor younger couples?
• Could every marriage preparation program benefit from the testimony of someone who has lived the full journey of married life?
• Are widows represented on parish pastoral councils and family ministry committees?
• Do we celebrate the witness of lifelong fidelity after the death of a spouse?
• How can our parish communities accompany widows while also recognizing the gifts they offer?
• What would change if we regarded widows not only as recipients of pastoral care but also as contributors to the Church's mission?

From Ministry to Mission

Marriage ministry should not end when death separates husband and wife.

The vocation of love continues.

The wisdom gained through decades of family life continues.

The witness of faith continues.

The Church has long affirmed that every baptized person has gifts to offer the Body of Christ. Widows are no exception. Their vocation, shaped by fidelity, sacrifice, and hope, can strengthen marriages, accompany families, and encourage younger generations.

As I continue serving in the Marriage & Family Ministry, I hope we can create spaces where this wisdom is heard, valued, and shared.

Perhaps one of the greatest opportunities before the Catholic Church is not to create entirely new ministries, but to recognize more fully the gifts already present among us.

Because sometimes the most experienced teachers of marriage are those who have faithfully walked its entire journey.

Join the Conversation

How does your parish involve widows in marriage preparation, family ministry, or pastoral leadership? I'd love to hear examples and ideas from across the Church.

About the Author

Nsubuga Ronnie is a Ugandan fashion industry strategist, Founder and CEO of Crystal Models Africa, and Founder and President of the Pearl of Africa Fashion Alliance (PAFA). Beyond fashion, he writes on leadership, faith, family life, public policy, and community development, sharing insights that inspire meaningful conversations and practical change.